You finally meet this great guy and have been dating for awhile and thinking it is going great and out of the blue he says: “I am not feeling it”   And it is like Argh!!!  How could this happen?  How could he spend this time with me, have sex, and feel connected and say the right things and now poof!, he is not interested.  It just don’t make sense.
There are number of reasons of why this happens.   Sometimes men like the “idea of a relationship” and they are having fun but when it comes time to step up to the plate to go to a deeper level they bow out.  They are really not mature or emotionally available for a relationship and may not ever be at this point.  There are also men that recently went through a divorce and afraid of a commitment. These men may some day be ready for a relationship but not right now and you don’t want to wait to find out.  Another reason is we are really with a man that is not for us, but we are trying to make it fit, and he knows it.  He feels that you are not accepting of him and he will bow out gracefully by saying “he is not feeling” but deep down he knows he cannot make you happy.

So, bottom line how do we avoid these men and what are the signs to look for.  Not all of these may apply but even if one does, I would run the other way.

1.  He does not make much of an effort in courting you. You seem to be doing all the work.
2.  You are not the priority.
3.  There is not talk about the future with You.
4.  You do not meet his friends or family or invited to company parties.
5.  There is limited time that you see him.  Like only once a week vs once a week and the weekend.   He does not plan any vacations or special dates.
6.  Although you are dating him, you still feel alone and something seems really off.

This is why it is so important to be crystal clear in knowing what you want and consciously choose the right man for you.  Please don’t ignore these signs.  You know it seems off and you think it may change or maybe you are asking for too much.  You are not.  Honestly, when it is the right one, you could never ask for too much.

Sending you love and hugs,

Kim Quick
Dating & Relationship Expert