Just checking in to say hi! And seeing how you are doing during the holidays. It can be stressful and then add on being single can get you down a bit. But I am here with some great tips on how you can enjoy your holiday season with peace and joy! I
Here are some tips to some of these challenging situations being single during the holidays, just in case you need them.
My family has to constantly ask “why am I still single?” Or say “you are too picky” or “you don’t know how to pick men”.
This has two part answer. Notice any feeling coming up around this. Do you feel that jolt in your stomach or your chest tightening up? Take some deep breaths. And stay with your feelings. You have a right for your feelings. You might have stated these same things to yourself and it is really hitting home. Stay with your feelings and that you are ok right here and right now. Be present in this moment and think calming thoughts and be kind to you.
Then, very simply with no drawn out explanations, answer ” I appreciate your concern”. I have not met the right man yet”. How are you? What is new? ” You don’t owe anyone any answers.
Feeling alone or lonely?
Again, it is very important to be with your feelings. Let those feelings come up and tell you yourself to breathe and that is ok where you are at right now. Don’t push those feelings down or drown yourself in cookies and milk or that bottle of wine that you got for a gift.
If you are having a bad day, and don’t want to talk about it. Be honest and ask friends and family o be supportive to you. I am just having a bad day. Just like everyone else. I don’t need advice. I could just use a hug.
And what can you do so you are surrounded by loving people? Contact friends. Have a dinner party and invite everyone. Go volunteer. Join groups and take a hike or something new you always wanted to try. Go to a comedy club. And don’t forget church.
Practice the gratitude. Yes, you have a great bed to sleep in. You have food, You have your health. You have friends and family. The sun is shining or the snow looks beautiful. What can you see that you can be grateful for and focus on what you have vs what you don’t have.
Balance. Be careful in not doing too much and stressing yourself out. Learn how to say no and take care of you. Take a hot bath. Get a massage. Read that book you always wanted to read. Take a nap. Start meditating. Take this time to really take care of you.
Your Ex Calls or tries to contact you
Warning- Do not go back with your ex just because you are feeling lonely. This can be a very emotional time of year and we feel vulnerable and think “oh this one time” or “maybe it will work out.” Most of the time if it did not work out the first time, it will not now. People do not change overnight and it can be more detrimental to your self-esteem more than anything. Remember you deserve the best and not crumbs. Don’t pick up the phone if you see his number and stay way clear. Call your besties instead for support.
And – It is not too late to meet someone new NOW! There is so many opportunities to meet men.
Number one – think positively and it is possible! It could happen in a second! Don’t give up. It takes one smile, conversation, date, and one man!
Smile at men when shopping, at the Starbucks, at parties.
Join hiking and biking groups on Meetup or parties they are having. Also, skiing is great for meeting men. Ooh la la, the apres skiing is loaded with men!
You are in my thoughts this holiday season and I care about you and that you deserve the very best.
Print these tips and read them to yourself everyday. And contact me anytime for support.
Warmest Wishes and Happy Holidays
Kim
